It's great to hear from all of you and know you are doing well. I really appreciate all of your thoughts and prayers to help me and more importantly Elder Bailey's family. This week has been rough, to say the least. I am emotionally drained and just tired. I know because of you, that I receive the strength to carry out through the day-so thank you for that.
Mån: Last Monday I was in shock and couldn't really comprehend all that had taken place earlier. The Stake President invited our district to their place for dinner and comfort. He gave a very special prayer to bless us and comfort us through this time. I came home and for the first time that day (i had postponed it selfishly and pridefully) knelt down and prayed. And I wept. One, because of the loss of a close friend, and 2 because I knew I had waited too long to become comforted. I had postponed feeling better because of my pride. But I know now, that anytime I am in need, the first place I go is on my knees. God is waiting to comfort and bless you. Don't wait. That's selfish to hang on to your suffering. If you truly need help, that is the one place guaranteed, you will be safe-on your knees. Things may not get better immediately or ever, but there is peace that comes when you submit to the will of the father. That I know to be true.
Tis: I have kept my mind occupied working hard, being out and talking to people, putting aside all thoughts and feelings of what had happened. I didn't want to deal with it, and for a time it worked. We had a couple of lessons. One was with an investigator who wont come out and tell us he is not interested. However, we bore witness about book of mormon and how one could truly find the truth upon reading and praying about it. I know something stirred within him but later in the week he denied that feeling and has been hard to meet with again.
Ons: In my personal study, I wrote a special tribute about Elder Bailey and shared it with mom and others. We taught a person who is interested in religions but has no background of it himself. We had a successful, positive contact with a Chilean person on the street in which we all used 3 languages throughout the entire contact: Swedish, English, and Spanish, and we all understood every word of it! How cool is that! The other elders brought someone back to the church for us because they were off to another meeting, and so we ended up talking with Professor C for a while. He is 77 years old and still full of energy, life and going hard! It was inspiring just seeing how active he was for how old he is ha! He told us his life story and how he was in prison unjustly for 14 years. He taught us a little chinese, as well (Im learning common phrases and gestures in so many languages while im out, its amazing!!! I've met people from many countries throughout the world. And Im learning phrases in many of them!!!). Prof C is very interested in the book of mormon and what our difference is among other religions. He was just awesome! I loved it:) We met a couple of other people through contacting who were quite positive.
Lör: We met back up with K and further explained the Book of Mormon, the Holy Ghost and Prayer. All of it was new to him, but he was open with all of it. He read and asked some questions, but he is content with his own knowledge of life -which is very little. A lot of people are like that, content with not knowing much about God or religion, or even a purpose in life, and dont really care for it even if they are given the opportunity. He is willing to meet with us and read the BoM, so hopefully... We came home a little early so we could shine our shoes, and iron our clothes to look nice and respectful for the memorial service.
Sön: We got to go toVästerås for the Memorial service of Elder Bailey. All of the missionaries in my Mtc group and their current companions, elder baileys former companions and their current companions, and stockholm and stockholm north zones all got to attend the memorial service. It was nice seeing everyone but it wasn't the same. This day the shock went away and reality hit me. It was a tough morning. Seeing his face on the program and knowing I will never see that face again in this life, it took its toll on me. The service was very beautiful, a lot of great music, and a lot of reverance towards elder bailey. Sometimes, I would be ok, and others I just cried and cried. I cried out in acceptance knowing that he is gone, and I cried out knowing that I will see him again. I am not one to let people comfort me, I prefer to be alone to solve my problems and or hard times. But there was no way I could this day. And that was good. I stood next to Elder O, and he held me and just let me cry and cry. No words. It wasn't needed. I just needed someone to be there and let me cry.
|Picture from Swedish newspaper of the Memorial. (Brock in green tie.)|
Some members from the stockholm ward were there including the G's, so that was very special for me to hug them, because I know they have had the similar experience when their son J died on his mission. I'm grateful for them, and that we are still so close though I am in a different area now. They are my biggest help and heros here in Sweden. Afterwards, we all took a picture together, had a lunch, and talked and caught up with each other.
|At the train station. We all missed our trains.|
Love Elder Johnson